


Sometimes you get lucky

by Mereel401



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, F/F, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-09-26 07:05:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9872771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mereel401/pseuds/Mereel401
Summary: Liara T'soni has to deal with the aftermath of the battle of London and the consequences for her future life and happiness.





	1. Part I (Liara)

_“No matter what happens, you mean everything to me Liara. You always will.”  
“Shepard, I … I am yours.”_

Liara T’soni was running through the desolated, heavily damaged and dark streets of London, desperately searching for the most important person in her live. All around her were piles of corpses both from the allied Hammer strike force and the corrupted Reaper spawn they had fought. She didn’t notice any of the dead or of the partially still burning destructed buildings all around her. Her entire focus was on finding Shepard. Despite having no Idea exactly where she was at the moment or where she was going, her subconscious led her to the spot she somehow knew she would find her Bondmate.  
Finally, after what felt like hours running through abandoned streets filled with dead things and deep shadows she came across a large metal structure, that blocked her way. The structure looked like it had once been part of the Citadel tower, the beating heart of galactic politics.  
This was what she had been looking for, Liara was sure of it. All her senses screamed at her that inside she would find her beloved and an answer to the question whether her live was destroyed once more or not. Liara carefully started picking her way through a crack in the outer bend outer shell of the ruins. She slowly moved towards the presence she felt until she found herself in front of a large pile of rubble inside a large room whose former purpose she could not even have guessed if she would have cared for it at that moment.  
Hesitantly Liara began rounding the pile, dreading what she would find on the other side. Even after more than three years, during one of which she had her Shepard back, she had vivid nightmares where she relived rescuing her loves body and handing it to Cerberus. Sometimes even during her normal daily routines when she closed her eyes she saw Shepard’s mutilated body lying inside a cold metal stasis pod. She was not sure if she could survive this time should Shepard be gone again, this time without Cerberus to bring her back.  
At the same time, she was not sure if she could do what she once promised herself and follow her stubborn Bondmate into the great void. Not if that would mean destroy the last piece of her lover that remained inside of her.  
Once she had rounded the rubble she was unable to suppress the sob that escaped her upon seeing the broken form of Shepard lying motionless in the dust. Shepard looked if at all possible even worse than after her first death over Alchera. Her entire torso was badly burned almost completely to the bones. Her left arm was just gone and the right one ended in a stump above where once would have been an elbow. But the worst part was her head. Only a small patch around the right eye seemed undamaged. Most of her beautiful red hair was gone and only bits and pieces of charred flesh clung to what was once the most stunning face Liara had ever seen.  
Liara felt her world shattering. She started weeping and fell to her knees as her legs could no longer bear her weight. In the moment, she saw what remained of her soulmate she knew, that nothing would ever matter to her again and death would be a kinder fate than more than a thousand years with this arching emptiness inside of her.  
“Liara why did you abandon me? Did I and what we had mean that little to you”  
At first Liara thought she was just imagining things in her grief, until she looked up again and to her horror saw the remains of her love starting to rise. Her one remaining green eye bereft of all the love and tenderness she usually saw when looking into it was filled instead with anger, resentment and the silent accusation of betrayal. Before Liara had any chance of overcoming her shock and horror and answering the accusation, the abomination of Shepard continued speaking.  
“First you left me to die alone in the cold vacuum of space when the SR-1 was destroyed, then even after I came back from the dead you sent me away when I first arrived on Ilium. After you used me to become the Shadow Broker you once again abandoned me during my incarceration on Earth.” Each of Shepard’s words felt like it drove a dagger right through Liara’s heart, playing with both her guilt and insecurities. “Sh…Shepard I …I” She tried to defend herself but the nightmare version of her lover ignored her feeble protests and continued as if she had not been interrupted.  
“Even after all that I still thought I loved you and accepted you back into my arms without hesitation. But this only gave you the choice to use me for your survival and betray me again. Finally, here in the streets of London you committed the ultimate betrayal of trust before abandoning me again to death, leaving me once more alone to find a way to defeat the reapers. After all you had all you want from me.”  
Liara was unable to meet the accusing gaze of Shepard’s one remaining eye. Instead her gaze fell to her own abdomen while insecurities and guilt she thought long since defeated reared their ugly heads inside of her and tormented her with thoughts about how all Shepard said was true in a way and she had just used and then abandoned and betrayed the love of her life. When she looked up again Shepard looked almost like she had in live, proud wearing her armor with bot the N7 and Spectre insignias on it. The only difference was a deep sadness in her eyes.  
“At least now I will have some measure of peace and you can never hurt me again, you selfish pureblood whore.” Were the last words before the Commander started to turn into dust in front of the shocked Asari’s eyes.  
“No … No Shepard please don’t leave me!”

With as scream Liara woke wrapped in a sweat drenched blanket. It took her a couple of seconds before she realized, where she was and that she must have had a nightmare. When she looked on the clock on Shepard’s nightstand she realized she had slept less than four hours which was not uncommon since they had crashed on this dammed planet six months ago, It was not entirely dark inside of Shepard’s cabin because daylight was filtering through the window above the Bed.  
While Liara had gone to bed during the late evening ship time, the planet they were stranded on had days and nights almost four times as long than Earth’s GMT that was used aboard all Alliance stations and ships. Despite it being the middle of the night Liara knew, that she was not going to find any more sleep tonight. Instead she rose from the bed to take a shower and get rid of the smell of sweat and fear the nightmare had left her with.  
After she had showered and dressed in fresh clothes, she made her way to the elevator. While she waited for the cabin to come up to her level and take her to the CIC Liara could not help herself but think about her nightmare. She had more nightmares ever since the Normandy was stranded on this unexplored planet somewhere in the middle of nowhere. She was not sure if the dreams and nightmares came from her condition, her lack of knowledge about what had happened to Shepard after herself and Garrus had been evacuated during the run for the Relay in London or because of her guilt over leaving her soulmate once more to what her mind told her was most likely a painful lonely death despite her promise to herself never to let something like Alchera happen again to Shepard. Liara thought, that it was most likely a combination of all three factors.  
After stepping out of the elevator on the empty CIC she hesitated for a moment unsure what to do. She could not bring herself to visit the crew deck one level below despite a nagging feeling of hunger. She had not been on the crew deck since the day after the ceremony during which she had to put her lovers name up on the memorial wall. Despite her heart clinging to the hope, that Shepard had somehow managed to cheat certain death again and kept her promise her brain the rational part of her knew that that was highly unlikely and that the promise she had forced out of her lover to always come back was an unfair one.  
When she had tried the next day to get to her broker office, she had collapsed in tears upon seeing Shepard’s name on the wall. Liara hadn’t tried to visit the level since. While she stood there on the CIC frozen in indecision about what to do she automatically took a folded piece of paper, which had become her most prized possession since she found it in Shepard’s cabin the day after the crash, out of her pocket. She unfolded the letter and reread it for what must have been the thousandth time. 

_Liara,  
Writing this letter is one of the hardest things I had to do in my life. It feels like I am betraying my promise to you just by acknowledging that I might not survive this. I despair at the thought of never being able to tell you again how much I love you. Liara you are my morning star, my hope, my soul, my everything. The only reason I have been able to do any of this, from stopping Saren to our last battle over Earth was for and because of you. These last months of one battle, one crisis after the other have been the most stressful of my life. But they also were the happiest. Every time I was close to despair or giving up you were there to pick me up despite your own demanding duties. You were the only one never to doubt me never to waver in your support even in your hour of greatest grief you were there for me. Just knowing, that every night you would be waiting for me in our bed made all the responsibility more bearable. I love you._

_No matter what is going to happen know that I have fought with all my might to keep my promise to you. I am sorry. My greatest regret besides the pain my death will cause you (again) is that there will never be all our little blue daughters running around the estate. I would have liked to get lost in the stars with you. Just find some little planet at the edge of the galaxy and settle down with you and our children. No war, no explosions, no fight for survival just Liara and Elara with their beautiful daughters. But I could not guarantee the safety of you or any child we would have brought into this galaxy so I had to fight. To ensure your survival even if the cost is, that I will never get to hold any of our children and they will have another father. I love you._

_Promise me two things my love. Do not give in to despair like after Alchera. You are the most kind and empathetic person I have ever met and the Asari I first saw on Ilium was not you. I could not bear the thought of you living the rest of your life in that darkness. I know I have no right to ask this of you but I do it anyway because you are the most important person in my life and I want nothing but happiness for you. I know you have come a long way from the shy socially awkward Archeologist that entrenched herself in my heart when we first met on Therum years ago, your evolution into a confident sexy and pretty good information broker has made me so proud and if that was at all possible love you even more. But despite that change you managed to keep your morals, your kindness and your empathy. In short you managed to stay yourself despite the new profession and confidence. Perhaps you even can go back to archeology like I know you always wanted, now that the Reapers are defeated. I love you._

_The other thing I would like to do for me is to tell the galaxy why I did what I did. I don’t want people using my image to advance whatever agenda they see fit. I didn’t fight for the Council or the fucking Alliance. Not after giving everything including my live for them just to be treated first like a pariah and then like an outright criminal. I did fight neither for any of the races nor because it was the fucking right thing to do. When all is said and done the galaxy can go fuck itself. I did all I did for my friends and family, the people who are important to me. And most of all I did it all for you. Since I first looked into your eyes, you have been the center of my life. I am willing to sacrifice everything just to see you safe. If I had to let the galaxy burn to save you I would do it without a second of hesitation. I love you._

_This letter did not turn out as eloquently as I had hoped but at the thought of never holding you again and breaking my promise all I can do is ramble on like an idiot. I hope this letter can give you even a small amount of closure and help you a little bit overcome your grief. The most important thing this hopefully does though is to remind you just how much I always will love you and how much your love means to me. Wherever death leads, I will wait for you however long I have to. I just hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me for leaving you alone a second time. For what it is worth, I did not plan to and did all within my power to come back to you. No matter what happens you mean everything to me. You always will. I love you.  
_

_Eternally yours in love Elara_

The letter was one of only two things, that managed to at least partially dispel her dark thoughts and let her feel at least a little bit alive these days. The reminder of Shepard’s love and devotion worked for a while. Until she started to remember the betrayal of the trust Shepard held in her and her selfish reasons to do so.  
Liara was abruptly interrupted in her melancholic musings by an insistent alarm by the unoccupied comm terminal. The terminal suddenly started playing a massage that unfortunately was garbled and mostly static due to the extensive damage to the Normandy’s comm system.  
“S…….dy this………..Atham…….e, we are ………….. of Envoy Sh………..T’soni. If ……….ing th………se respond. …….orma……. ………………ari car……….e’s Gra……, …………..nder …….. comman……….d for……..ni…… you a….. rec…..ng th…..lease. ”


	2. Part II (Liara)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Normandy is found and Liara get's an answer to her most important question whether she is ready or not.

_“S…….dy this………..Atham…….e, we are ………….. of Envoy Sh………..T’soni. If ……….ing th………se respond. …….orma……. ………………ari car……….e’s Gra……, …………..nder …….. comman……….d for……..ni…… you a….. rec…..ng th…..lease._ ”  


For a moment Liara was frozen. As soon as she realized what the message most likely meant, her stomach turned and hope and dread fought in her heart. Hope, that they would finally get of this dreadful empty planet and she would find out what happened to Shepard. Dread, that this was either a dream or worse this was real and she would get confirmation of the death of her beloved.  
After what felt like an eternity of frozen indecision, she leapt into action, running the length of the CIC towards the bridge in less than five seconds. She impatiently pressed herself through the door before it had even slid half open. Liara entered the darkened room, that had become Joker’s refugee after EDI’s destruction during the crash just like the loft was for Liara.  
Joker had made the cockpit his quarters after the crash and spend even more time sequestered away from people than Liara these past six months. She knew, that he was mourning the loss of EDI just like she was that of Shepard and would have under normal circumstances never intruded without announcing herself beforehand. However, these were not normal circumstances and she needed access to the Normandy’s comm system in hope of answering whoever had send the message.  
Joker was asleep in his chair, when a hectic Asari burst through his door and started punching commands into the haptic interface of one of the consoles to his left. Startled by the sudden commotion and invasion of his space, the pilot woke from his slumber and almost jumped out of his chair in fright. It took Joker a couple of second to get his bearings and realize who had interrupted his sleep.  
“Liara what the heck are you doing? Can’t I even get my beauty sleep on this ship without being pestered by someone?”  
Liara ignored the pilot’s remark, that was passive aggressive instead of his once usual sarcasm, in favor of sending a quick priority message to both Tali and Garrus. After a couple, more seconds, when she had done all that her technical knowledge allowed her to do, she finally turned around to answer Joker who was bristling after being first interrupted in his refuge and then ignored.  
“We just had an incoming message. It is almost not to understand due to the damage of our comm system, but according to these readings it originates from inside this solar system. We have to find some way to send an answer to whatever has send the message. This could be our one chance at getting of this planet.”  
Before Joker was able to overcome his shock at this new development and ask any further questions both Garrus and Tali came through the airlock onto the ship and wasted no time turning to their left entering the cockpit. Both the Turian and Quarian had been on shift outside coordinating the Normandy’s crew’s effort at making their surroundings more habitable and to enable them to have a permanent source of food in case their stay on this planet would be longer than they had hoped.  
“Liara your massage said, there has been an attempt at communicating with us?” Tali wasted no time taking control of the technical side of their current dilemma since she had by far the best technical abilities between the four of them. She all but tackled Liara away from the console and started reading the data stream faster than any of the others could keep up.  
While Tali was working with a constant stream of murmured “Keelah’s” and “Bosh’tet’s” Garrus turned to Liara and Joker, looking at his two friends who most likely had suffered the most from all crewmembers stranded on this forsaken planet and saw the defeated posture both had had over the last six months at least somewhat banned for the moment. Apparently, the chance to get back home could affect even the darkest mood and pierce at least for the moment through the clouds of grief hanging over the pilot and information broker.  
“We need to find a way to answer before they leave the system. Otherwise we might be stuck here forever.”  
Tali’s answer to the Asari’s decleration was as resigned shrug.  
“The best we can do is send a burst of static. There is simply no way to send any kind of formulated message.”  
“Spirits we will have to hope they get the burst and decide to investigate.”  
“Morse-Code”  
The three aliens turned to Joker, looking for an elaboration on what exactly this Morse-code was and how it could help them with their current problem.  
“Morse-Code is and old human form of communication, replacing letters with combinations of long and short signals. It was mostly used a couple of centuries back, but is still in use in case of emergencies today. “  
“Keelah, it’s wort a shot.”  
“Good send three short bursts, a break, three long bursts another break and then three short bursts again. It is an old human emergency signal you have to know to be allowed piloting any kind of ship in citadel and alliance space.”  
Tali didn’t even wait for Joker to finish his explanation before she started sending bursts of static in the rhythm he had ordered. After she had finished all four of them stared expectant at the console, hoping and praying that their call for help was heard and understood. After almost two minutes of waiting when they started getting nervous, the console finally started beeping with short bursts of transmission.

Short, break  
Long, break  
Short, long, break  
Short, short, long, long, long, break  
Short, short, short, short, a long break and then a repeat of the rhythm.

Three pairs of eyes turned towards the Normandy’s pilot expecting a translation of the human code. Joker regarded his three friends before almost silently whispering.  
“ETA 2h”  
There was a moment of profound silence as all of them let it sink in, what that message meant before both Tali and Garrus erupted in cheers and even Liara allowed herself a small smile only Joker seemed to be unmoved by the chance of rescue, maybe because he knew no matter where he went he had no one left expect for the Normandy’s crew. 

 

Two hours later, Liara was nervously pacing up and down between two of the crude wooden shacks the crew had started building around the Normandy’s resting place. Most other crewmembers except those few, that still had duties to perform aboard the crashed ship, were busy expanding the manmade clearing around the crash side or clearing the ground of rocks in preparation for the now hopefully unnecessary future of growing their own crops and vegetables. The only other people currently not working were the other members of the groundcrew waiting a small distance away from the pacing Asari.  
Liara was more nervous than she had ever been in her entire life. Even when she first made the decision to offer herself to Shepard before the mission to Ilos she had been more composed. She dreaded the arrival of their rescuers. Finally, after six months of grief and uncertainty she would get her answer, whether her soulmate still lived or was dead. Her heart desperately tried to cling to the dying embers of hope, that somehow Shepard had once more managed to pull of the impossible and was waiting for her to come home, greeting her with her beautiful impish grin, before falling into her arms for an emotional tearful reunion. Liara’s rational mind on the other hand tried It’s best to quell any and all hope, lest the bitter reality breaks her heart and soul once more finally destroying all that is left of her. She could not deny Kaidan’s argument, that even Shepard did not have infinite luck and could not possibly survived firing of the Crucible, that saving the galaxy had forced her lover to break her promise and once more make the ultimate sacrifice.  
Whilst she was fighting her internal battle between hope and despair, unconsciously one of her hands rested on her belly, while the second clutched the ring she wore on an artfully designed platinum necklace. Despite trying her best not to remember the day Shepard had proposed to her on the Citadel, and later presented her with a traditional Asari engagement necklace in addition to the ring she used for the proposal, she had not taken it of since the battle of London. Liara knew if she would remember to much of their happier times or of their plans for a future in a post Reaper galaxy she could not continue on. She still had someone for whom she had to continue on regardless of her pain or grief.  
The archeologist turned information broker was so deep in thought, she nearly missed it when Garrus cried out and pointed in the far distance, where his avian eyes made out the fast-approaching shape of a shuttle. Her heart beating even more rapidly than before, Liara turned in the direction the Turian was pointing and stared at what was for her not more than a small black spot against the blue sky.  
After two more minutes, that felt like an eternity not only to the Asari but to every member of the Normandy crew who now had given up all pretenses of working and were instead staring at the spacecraft with for the first times since the end of the war hope in their eyes, the shuttle was making a flyby at roughly two kilometers of height apparently searching for the best place to land. Much to everyone’s surprise, before the shuttle could continue its decent, a humanoid figure jumped out of it and started to fall with ever increasing speed towards the ground. The entire crew seemed to hold their breath while watching the figure plunging closer and closer to the ground. With only roughly half a kilometer of distance remaining, the jumper who seemed to wear a white hardsuit was suddenly enveloped in a biotic field, that started to slow down the velocity of the falling person. Safely landing after a fall of that kind of height was a biotic feed only a few of the most powerful Asari commandos were capable of and no one dared to voice their concerns, that their would-be savior had overestimated his or her abilities and would find a rather messy death at their feet.  
When the figure landed with only a soft thud and a small amount of dust kicked up by the landing the crew drew a collective breath of relief. Now, that they could see the slightly crouched standing figure more closely, it was clear that she was either a human female or more likely an Asari commando. She wore an almost completely white set of what appeared to be custom made armor with only a few blue accents and the T’soni family crest on her right breast.  
The only member of the crew who had not released her breath after the woman’s safe landing was Liara. The moment she had laid eyes on her, she was frozen to the spot, her heart racing even more than before while she for a moment would not, could not believe what she was seeing. She was paralyzed with fear, that she was only dreaming to be awakened in the morning to her terrible reality or that she was seeing the things she wanted to see. Everyone watched with mounting curiosity as the armored woman started to remove her helmet with shaking hands, her gaze fixated on the ground team standing in front of the crashed ship. Streams of tears started to pour out of Liara’s eyes when unmistakable shoulder long red hair and emerald green eyes glassy with unshed tears came into view as the helmet was removed.  
For one eternal moment, everybody was frozen as sapphire met emerald eyes. Then even as the first crewmembers started to shout in their surprise both Shepard and Liara started running.  
“Shepard!”  
“Liara!”  
They met in a crushing hug, both women crying tears of relief and of happiness. For them the world around did not exist anymore as they kissed for the first time in what had felt for both of them like an eternity. Without acknowledging any of their friends and comrades, the reunited lovers were in a crushing hug, neither woman ready to let go out of fear of the other simply vanishing like a fata morgana. Without any conscious thought, the Asari initiated a meld and was immediately welcomed into her lover’s mind. It was like coming home for both of them their souls made to fit perfectly together, the stress, fear, grief and uncertainty of the last six months fell away as they basked in each other’s love, finally their souls were once again complete.  
_“Shepard, you came back, you found me”_  
_“You know me Liara. If I make a promise….”_  
_“You keep it.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it :D.  
> All constructive critisism is welcome.
> 
> PS: Yes I "borrowed" the last three lines from Halo 3. I always thought them fitting for Shepard and Liara's reunion.


	3. Part III (Shepard)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard manages to activate the crucible and safe the Galaxy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, sorry for the delay. But from now on with a new Laptop and ME:A finished i should be able to update regularly.

Shepard was in agony, ever since she Harbinger’s main gun had grazed her with a not-quite-but-almost hit, the entire right side of her armor was partly melted and all her guns were gone. She could understand neither the Illusive Man’s inane drivel nor Anderson’s answers over the ringing in her ears, her right leg erupted in pain whenever she shifted her weight even the slightest bit and she had her now useless and deadened right arm pressed on the shrapnel wound to her abdomen in the vain hope of slowing down the bleeding long enough to do what was asked of her. Destroy the Reapers and save the Galaxy and somehow out of all the millions of people currently fighting on and around earth, she was the one who had to drag her broken body onwards to ensure their survival, just like always.

TIM was currently holding a gun to a heavy bleeding Anderson’s head, while using the man who had been her farther figure ever since Mark Shepard had been killed in the First Contact War as a living shield so he could try once more to convince Shepard of his insane ideas for human supremacy. During TIM’s and Anderson’s bickering, Elara tried her best to think past her pounding headache to find a way of killing TIM, saving Anderson and opening the Citadel’s arms, before the darkness slowly encroaching on her field of vision swallowed her conscience and doomed them all.

The Spectre had lost all her guns before she had dragged herself through the beam down in London, her Biotics were drained even worse than during the Skyllian Blitz after hours of fighting through hordes of Reaper Spawn in the desolate streets of London and raising a last second barrier to keep protect herself from the worst damage the Reaper HMD would otherwise have done to her. The only weapons she had remaining, were the two Asari short swords on her back and her Omni-Tool. Drawing the swords simply took too much time and was an easy way of telegraphing her intentions, so her only option was her left hand with the Omni-Tool.

Shepard looked around the council chambers, searching for something that could give her the one opening she would need to end Jack Harper’s miserable life.  The large room however, was apart from a few Keeper, Cerberus and Citadel guard corpses empty. Shepard tried to look around to those corpses closest to her, searching for a weapon she could use without giving away, that her attention was on something else than Harper’s longwinded monologue explaining why the Reaper’s should be controlled instead of destroyed and why HE should be the one in control of them. The Spectre had no luck however, the closest corpse was more than three meters away and most of them only had heavier weapons like assault rifles and shotguns on them she could never pick up and use in any precise or quick way with only one weakened functioning arm.

The loud report of a heavy pistol finally snapped her attention back to the two men in front of her, before she froze up in total shock.  Harper evidently had either lost his patience, had realized, that she was not listening or had had enough of Andersons permanent interruptions and had decided to just get rid of them both.  The sight of the man who had been like a second father to her, gunned down by a madman like a stray dog was enough to shock even Shepard, exhausted and weary as she was after what seemed like years of constant horrors and fighting. When the leader of Cerberus brought his pistol to bear on her however, years of training and experience kicked in and her instincts took over.

Without thinking, the Commander used a last reserve of energy for what was more of a Biotic stumble than a proper charge, instead of slamming in her unarmored opponent and hurling him to the other end of the chamber, shattering al his bones in the process, it only brought her right in front of her enemy. That was more than enough for her, she had her Omni-Blade buried between his rips and in his heart before either of the two combatants had realized what was going on. With as savage a twist as she could manage she slipped her blade free allowing it to disperse. Jack Harper collapsed like a puppet whit its strings cut, the light in his unnatural eyes fading before he hit the ground.

Shepard ignored both her fallen friend and foe, forcing herself to only think of the one final task she had to do before she could rest. With a grunt of pain and exhaustion she managed to limp the last few steps towards the Citadel’s central control station, leaning heavily on the terminal while the sore muscles in her legs struggled to keep her standing. She could taste the coppery tang of blood in her mouth and her abdomen felt worse than before, even when she had jumped between Liara and a Banshee on Lessus and had ben skewered by one of its long, clawed hands it hadn’t hurt this much.

Thankfully at least the controls for the Citadel lockdown were still the same like three years ago during Sovereign’s attack on the Citadel, which allowed her to initiate the opening sequence for the ward arms with only a few commands.

While the Wards slowly but surely began to shift open, Shepard allowed herself to slide down to the ground using the console to support her back, enabling her to sit upright and look out the huge panorama windows at the end of the cavernous chamber. More and more of earth and the massive space battle being fought all around the planet was visible from her resting spot, she allowed herself for a moment to appreciate the irony of the reaper war being ended in the same room, the Galaxy’s future had been decided in for millennia.

After that though, she must have blacked out for a moment, because the next thing she was aware of was Admiral Hackett’s voice over comm, sounding more beaten and desperate than she had ever heard him.  “Shepard, ……. Commander.”

Shepard’s every breath was pure agony, every part of her body seemed to radiate pain “I,” Her voice was barely more than a horse whisper. “…. what do you need me to do?”

“Nothing is happening,” There was a short pause, while Hackett seemed to rethink what he wanted to say. “the Crucible is not firing.” 

The words hurt her almost more than her wounds, after all they had done all they had sacrificed the crucible had to work. She had convinced everyone that this was their one shot, the only way to win this war. Should The ancient superweapon turned out to be a fluke she was as responsible for the end of their civilization as the politicians who had ignored all evidence for the reapers and had wasted three years they could have used to prepare for the arrival. Liara would die and it would be entirely her fault.

“It got to be something on your end.” Shepard would have wept with relief, if she had had the strength left to weep. Instead she focused her gaze on the console in front of her. Lines of prothean code ran down both side of the display but right in the middle was a blinking interface button, reading ‘Initiate firing process’.

Despite the pain a small smile tugged one corner of her mouth up. Of course, it was a button, wasn’t it always. She could do it, if there was one thing the Commander was good at it was pushing buttons. Now all she had to do was somehow reach it and the war would be over.

She slowly against her protesting body rose to her knees, using her one good arm to grab the upper edge of the terminal. With strength, she didn’t know she had left in her she rose to her feet once again leaning heavily on the console for support. Standing up had been one of the hardest things she had ever done, but somehow, she had managed it. Before she raised her ram to push the button, she used one moment to speak a short, whispered prayer to her own goddess. “Be safe Liara.”

By now her field of view had shrunken to less than a quarter of its normal size surrounded by darkness and what she saw had become blurred. The Spectre blindly groped with her good hand finally after a couple of tries hitting the haptic interface. The effect was almost immediate, she could feel the entire ancient space station starting to vibrate and the air being filled with electricity while the weapon powered up.

_Promise me you are always coming back to me._

The commander didn’t intent to wait around and see what happened. She had made her Asari a promise and she would be dammed if she broke it after their victory. Shepard managed a single small step away from the console before she lost her balance and and fell to the ground. Her last conscious thought before blackness swallowed her was. _‘I am sorry Liara.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obvious a few changes to ME3's ending here. I never liked the whole TIM controls Shepard's body thing. How? Why did the Reapers or TIm not use this useful ability before? And teh Coincil Chambers are a much more fitting backround for the final confrontation. Also no AI god children. and no stupid choices that make no sens (for a weapon). Just no.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my take on what happens after the destroy ending in ME3 with a few changes like the Normandy beeing strandet and heavily damaged.


End file.
